Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
