eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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