If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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