the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
