erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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