Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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