Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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