Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
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