3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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