mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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