Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
