Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
