haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
