Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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