He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
