So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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