I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
