sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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