My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
