so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
