You're so nebulous sometimes
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
