i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize