Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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