"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
