I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
