He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it was like eating out sand paper
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
