I faked an abortion last night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
