And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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