jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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