So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
