Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
