Already got asked if we're dating
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
