when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
