i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
