Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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