I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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