$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
