WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
