What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I did not marry a roomba.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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