I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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