no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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