In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
