Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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