she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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