sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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