He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
