Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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