I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My bed smells like the plague
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
