I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
