So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
