did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
