would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im holly from the hills drunk
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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