go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
