i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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