I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
