One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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